i dont know what i was planning on saying really. ive looked at this so many times, everytime getting the urge to write, hoping you'll somehow see it.
all i know is, i miss you. logically i shouldnt, you were only in my life briefly, yet the pain is still so raw. i still obsess about the things i wish i had said to you. i dont think i even once told you i love you. not once. its something ill always remember, even when your face fades from my memory. i guess i was afraid of rejection. most of all, i regret the way i treated you. lets face it, i was a bitch most of the time. you always understood though. you never held it against me. it just wasnt in your nature.
its only in the last few months ive actually been able to mention you in the past tense, though i slip up every so often. i was sitting on the sofa the other day, and randomly the ketchup... incident popped into my head, and i smiled. i cant remember the last time thinking of you made me smile. ive been focusing too much on our fights, your death. i dont want to remember you that way. you were such an amazing person and we did have some hilarious times, depite the situation. ill remember the times when we turned into giggling idiots, acting with less maturity than a pair of 5 year olds, and getting into as much trouble. how we laughed through the consist eye rolling because we thought are childishness saw hilarious in that deluded moment. ill remember bickering over drumsticks and watching the program about michael jackson. i think that was when we first opened up to eachother. the moment i realised how important you were, and it did scare me.
im going to stop playing our last conversation alone, over and over in my head. theres nothing i can do to change it. i cant go back and beg you not to do it. and i will stop this delusion that if you got that immature text i sent you before you died, that maybe youd laugh, and maybe it would have made you hang in a bit longer.
when you came into my life, you showed me hope, then yanked it away with your death. as much as it hurts, i guess i understand why you did it. but now i have to stop with my self pity and go looking for hope again.
i love you. i love you. i love you.
hopefully ill get the courage to visit your grave soon.
i could do with a chat :)
xxxxxxxxxxx
love you
The more time that goes by the more i miss you, the pain will never go away. i hope you are ok i miss you love you forever and ever xxxx
happy valentines day mick xxxx
∗∗∗∗ 13th FEBRUARY 2011 ∗∗∗∗
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Year Round Valentine
I love you all through February,
Not just on Valentine’s Day;
I cherish you when flowers of spring
Appear in the midst of May.
I adore you in the summer,
When the air is filled with heat;
Without you in my life each day,
I wouldn’t be complete.
I treasure you in fall,
When leaves are turning gold;
I loved you when you were younger;
I’ll love you when you’re old.
I prize you in the winter,
When colder days are here;
I love you, love you all the time,
Every minute of the year.
So I’ll give to you this Valentine,
But I want to let you know,
It’s not just today, but always,
That I will love you so.
lass day
i can smell you all round me today :( and i know why... today lass year was the lass day i got to kiss you good by :( i miss you so much baby xxxxx
ONE YEAR GONE
It was Michaela's one year gone form us all,
she has changed and touched so many life's
with her beautiful and sweet smile her loving mind
she defiantly sow thing's different then the rest
my heart died the day you went away but i know
everyday you are helping me bring it back together
again love you baby
ONE YEAR GONE
It was Michaela's one year gone form us all,
she has changed and touched so many life's
with her beautiful and sweet smile her loving mind
she defiantly sow thing's different then the rest
my heart died the day you went away but i know
everyday you are helping me bring it back together
again love you baby
BIG HUGS MICHAELA
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
⋱♰⋰ Angel Day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Your Angel Day in Heaven ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Many tears will fall for you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ You touched so many loving hearts ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ There’s so many missing you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ As you now live in paradise ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Its Heaven up above stay ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Close to all your loved ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ ones For it’s you they ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ miss and love ⋱♰⋰
.
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
⋱♰⋰ bigs hugs from me to you and your ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ family and friends that you miss you ever day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ but in our hearts forever you will not be ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ forgoten you take care love from me ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Sylvie mommy of Samantha Belanger ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ and Granddaughter of Albert and ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Marie-Jeanne Belanger take care ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ hugs and XXXX bye for now good ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ night ⋱♰⋰
♥ * . ♥ * .
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
....Goodnight and God Bless..........
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
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...................... _......._
................... .~...........`~.
......۱..,_..... / ...................`,
... ,_۱..'-.., ۱......... _.'`~.~./
......۱'-.-,._...`{._,}........ -.(
......... '....`-.`۱..-.-,.___.. - '_
.......... '._`../........... |_ _.{@}
............... / ...........`.|-.......Y
.............. / .......۱..... /........|/
............ / ...........'-...-;..._
............_۱ ................ ..`,۱.
......... /... |`-.....___........
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
Sleep Tight......X X
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ
Kaylah was a beautiful girl who was one of the kindest people i have ever met. It is so horribly tradgic that she had to result to suicide, she deserved so much better in life. She had so much more to give. I loved her so much. When we first met, she was there for me. Holding my hand, giving me hugs. saying it was all going to be alright. This is who she really is. Kaylah shoudlnt be remembered just for her cause of death. Her life should be celebrated everyday, everytime someone thinks of her. The wounds caused by her death on everyone she ever met are not yet healed. They might never be. But she was an amazing person who only ever helped others. If only she could have helped herself. Love you always beautiful angel. You will never be forgotten. You are imprinted on your hearts forever, Never forgotten.
xxxxxxxxxx
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.∗..\....*...:./...⋆...*
*`. .__/. \__ .'.*.....∗
_ _\.......... /_ _*....⋆
⋆. /_......._\..⋆......*
.∗....' \. / `....∗......*
..../ :....*...⋆ \.....∗
../........I.........\
./.........I...........\
/..........I............\
⋆ Perfection of the night ⋆
******************************
As the stars come out at night
We're guided by the rays of light
lighting up the darkest sky
Tears slipping from my eyes
⋆********⋆********⋆
Each star is very special
For our Angels gone too soon
Looking realy beautiful
As they dance around the moon
⋆********⋆********⋆
They sparkle like a diamond
Flickering their light
For hours i sit and watch them
True perfection of the night
copyright� Vicky Deaville 1/3/2010
⋆
I also lost a friend to suicide so i know the heart ache.
My love and heart go out to friends and family. She will be missed but always remembered.
xxx
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